Things we have learned about Eli.

At the time of this post, Eli has been in our lives for 4 weeks and in that time he has taught us many things about himself.  He has taught us that when he is bobbing his head around like a cockatoo he is hungry, when he shuts his eyes and gives a guttural scream he is tired, and when he holds his breath and clenches his entire body he is really fighting to pass some gas.  We have learned that we can sometimes help him with this last one by grabbing his legs and scrunching them to his belly so he curls up and puts little added pressure on his innards.  He's like a little hand accordion; just scrunch him up and he lets a fart loose right on cue.  The other day I scrunched him 3 times in a row and each time he let out lengthy, almost musical, fart.  And these aren't the little *poots* you might expect from a baby.  No, sir!  These are full on rip-roaring farts you might expect from 300lb construction workers sitting around pounding Lonestar and hot wings all day.  Our dog, Roxy, still holds the title in our house for loudest and most comical farts, but she definitely has some competition now.

Eli is not always this predictable, though.  He likes to have an element of surprise about him, especially when he is at his favorite spot: the changing table.  There have been times when we know he is struggling to pass gas and have helped him out while the old diaper is on, but as soon as that diaper comes off . . . . Ka-plow! . . . he's covered the changing table and your hand with a stream of projectile poo!  We have learned to give him a few minutes before changing him, but every now and then he gives us a surprise attack to keep us on our toes.  As you can tell by the picture, it's not just the poo attacks that catch us off guard.  We've had our share of water fights as well.  The boy loves to feel the breeze on his junk and his pee in the wind.  We have learned not to leave him diaperless on the table for too long because he will most likely let loose a fountain of urine.  Same thing happens at bath time.  I wait until I see that little yellow stream let loose to taint the water that cleansed him before I take him out of the tub.

The funny thing about all this is that it is not all that disgusting.  Then again, we have yet to enter the solid food stage.  This topic to be continued at a more gut-wrenching time . . . .